10 Questions to Ask Aging Parents
An unexpected illness, a fall that requires surgery followed by rehabilitation, or a sudden death in the family are all events in which an adult child may be called upon to step in and help make decisions for an aging parent. These events can also cause tremendous confusion and complications if you and your parent are not prepared. That is why it is important to have legal documents in place and up to date.
Oftentimes, an adult child(ren) of aging parents is placed in the role of helping the parents make financial and health decisions. If that is you, are you prepared to handle decisions on behalf of your aging parent? Do you have the tools you need to help take care of your parents’ affairs and manage their property? Here are 10 questions you can ask your aging parents to make sure they planned and prepared should they need help making legal and medical decisions in the future.
1. Do you have Durable Powers of Attorney- BOTH Financial and Healthcare?
A power of attorney is a document in which a person appoints an “Agent” to make that person’s financial and/or healthcare decisions. A common misconception is that a spouse can handle finances and make medical decisions for their incapacitated spouse simply because they are married. This is not true. A person may not handle legal tasks, make medical decisions, or act for another person without a power of attorney or court involvement (such as a guardianship). This restriction is true even if the incapacitated person is your spouse, your parent, or your adult child (over the age of 18). A power of attorney must be signed by a person before they are incapacitated. Therefore, everyone over the age of 18 should have a Healthcare Power of Attorney (healthcare decisions) and General Durable Power of Attorney (financial decisions) naming a trusted person to make their medical and financial decisions in case of an incapacity event such as a car accident, serious illness, etc.
2. Do you have a Will and/or Trust?
No matter how large or small your estate may be, it is essential that you prepare your estate plan and revise it regularly. Estate planning includes planning for the disposition of your estate upon death. An estate plan may include wills and trusts to designate what happens to your possessions and money upon your death. If you die without these legal documents, state law along with the probate court may determine how your estate will be administered and divided.
3. Where do you store your estate planning documents, including Durable Powers of Attorney, Will and/or Trust (original vs. copy)
It is important for family members to know the location of powers of attorney, wills, trusts, bank documents, financial records, and other legal documents (social security card, marriage license, etc.). Are the documents in a safe deposit box? If so, who has a key and access to the box? Are the documents in a safe? If so, who has access to the safe? Is it a fire-proof safe? It is a good idea to record information regarding the location of important legal and financial information-especially if needed in an emergency situation.
4. When did you last have an attorney review and/or update your estate planning documents?
It is a good idea to have your estate planning documents reviewed at least every five (5) years- or sooner if you have a major life event such as an unexpected health diagnosis or other change in your life circumstances. Estate planning documents should also be reviewed regularly to ensure they are current with the law in the state you currently reside.
5. Do you have long-term care insurance? If so, where is policy and what does it cover?
The cost of long-term care, including in-home care, assisted living and nursing home care, is increasing regularly. It is important to know if your parent has insurance in place that may cover or offset the cost of long-term care. If a policy is in place, it is a good idea to know the in’s and out’s of the policy prior to making a claim for coverage. This would include reading the policy, and even reviewing the policy with an insurance professional, to ensure you understand the terms of the policy, types of care covered, and claims process. Contrary to popular belief, Medicare does NOT pay for in-home care or skilled nursing care.
6. What are your end of life wishes? Are they memorialized in living will or advanced directive?
A healthcare power of attorney and advanced healthcare directive (sometimes called a living will) are legal tools an individual can use to give legal authority to a trusted person to make end of life decisions when they cannot speak for themselves. However, it is still advisable to take the time to express your end of life wishes and what a meaningful life looks like to you. If you do not know how to start the conversation there are online tools available to assist in the conversation, including The Conversation Project, which can be found at: https://theconversationproject.org/.
7. Is your funeral planned?
No one wants to think about planning their parents’ funeral. However, it is safe to say, when planning, we want to honor our parents’ wishes for their funeral. One way to ensure you honor your parents’ wishes is to ask their wishes while they are living. Questions to ask include: Have you prepared specific written instructions of your final wishes/arrangements? What type of funeral or memorial would you prefer? Do you want flowers? Do you want special music played or scripture or poems read? Do you want to be buried or cremated?
Have pre-paid funeral and/or burial arrangements been made? If so, where do you store that information? Asking these questions in advance can help ensure you honor your parents’ wishes and help avoid the stress of planning during a difficult and emotional time.
8. Do you have a list of your bank accounts/investments?
It is important to know your parent’s financial affairs if you are named to help make financial decisions in the event your parent is incapacitated. If you are called upon to pay your parents’ monthly bills due to a serious illness causing incapacity, but you have no information on your parents’ financial situation, it could impossible for you to fulfill that role. It is a good idea if you have been named as agent under a financial power of attorney to have information in advance regarding bank accounts, investments, and who is advising your parents on financial matters such as banker or financial advisor.
9. Do you visit doctor regularly? Who and how often?
Do you know the names and contact information of the doctors your parents see regularly? Knowing the doctors your parent sees regularly may become important in an emergency such as hospitalization or serious illness. Similarly, it is important to know what medications your parent is taking. You may be called upon to provide this information to medical staff in an emergency situation.
10. What benefits are you current receiving? Social Security? Pension? Veterans?
It is important to have a full picture of benefits your parent is currently receiving, including income benefits such as Social Security, Pension, Retirement, and/or Veterans benefits. This information may become vital if you are the financial agent under a power of attorney and are called upon to act in that role. In addition, some of these benefits may include benefits upon death, such as allowances for burial and funeral expenses, surviving widow or child benefits.
Answering these 10 questions may be just the beginning of the process to assist a parent if necessary in the event of incapacity. The attorneys at The Elder Law Group are experienced in providing specific, tailored legal advice to ensure the legal documents are in place and to ensure an estate plan is up to date and will implement our client’s wishes without unnecessary complications. Contact us today at 417-708-2044 or at info@TheElderLawGroup.com to schedule a consultation.
The information in this blog post is provided for general informational purposes only, and may not reflect the current law in your jurisdiction. No information contained in this blog post should be construed as legal advice. No reader of this post should act or refrain from acting on the basis of any information included in this blog post without seeking the appropriate legal or other professional advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue.